Inspired by the strategy of 'slow writing' shared by David Didau way back in 2012, coupled with the HIAS three-phase learning journey approach that champions the use of WAGOLLs as a source for both inspiration and imitation, this resource was created for a workshop for the Secondary English Network. 'The Clarksonator' takes the idea that any distinctive voice can be imitated and that it is possible to use a text for inspiration and reduce it to a set of instructions - it is also just for fun! The text used to provide the source material is Jeremy Clarkson's article, On Diesel, which is one of his more age-appropriate pieces. Following the slow-writing instructions in The Clarksonator, any piece of ranting can be turned into a pastiche of Clarkson's signature style. Other writers with distinctive voices who work well for pastiche are Charlie Brooker and Caitlin Moran; in each case, choose texts carefully to ensure that the whole of the extract is age-appropriate. In our workshop, we suggested creating a resource similar to the Clarksonator... perhaps a Moranosaurus or a Book of Booker.